Bubbling over . . .

I don't want to be "that mom."  The one that thinks she knows everything and doles out unsolicited advice like mints at a restaurant.  I don't want to be her . . . OH BUT I DO!

Now wait, I don't mean to imply that I am the foremost authority on being a mom.  NoooOOoooo.  No sir, no ma'am.  Far friggin' from it.  BUT.  I've been there twice. 

That "moment of birth," that new face that you've been wondering about since he/she was a guppy and you were just a bloated nauseated monster.  The sleeplessness, how insidious a creature it is paired with roller coaster hormones.  The newness of breastfeeding, trials and tribulations.  Learning to change a diaper in the dark.  Sleeping in the strangest positions possible.  Having your body go through a rapid deflation and transformation that in turn made you nauseated all over again (only this time when looking in a mirror.)  Those MOMENTS when you stare at this creature you have helped create.  How in the world did this happen?  The fingers, toes, nose, eyelashes, earlobes . . . how did they all KNOW to come together into this tiny creature?  (Understanding the science and biology of this does not apply just so you know.  Hormones are driving this car.) 

Brand New Ethan Alexander Charles

Brand New Toby Malcolm Alan

Point is . . . holding my tongue can be so hard.  I have a friend who we knew as young'ns and reunited in college.  She just had a baby yesterday (on Father's Day!) and I want to know EVERYTHING about it all.  Because, I just miss it I think.  I miss the newness.  You will never get the firsts again.  Even with a second (or third, etc.) baby, you will never get those specific firsts.  I guess I'm a bit envious and wanting to live vicariously through her.  I want to know how SHE is feeling when everyone is asking about the baby.  I want to give her advice on how to deal with swollen bits and tips on breastfeeding.  I want to beg her to forget all the negatives people throw at her and just immerse herself in her precious baby. 

But I won't.  Because I'm a good monkey.  And also because every new mom is inundated with unsolicited advice from well-meaning family members. 

But I'm bubbling over.  I want to call her on the phone and make her include me in on everything.  I need someone else in my family to have a baby because MY baby is turning ONE YEAR OLD in a few weeks and it makes me so sad.  Okay, I'm happy too . . . because he is the cutest damned thing ever, but still . . . all those firsts.  Gone forever.