Friday, June 7, 2013

Be Fri

Do you remember those Best Friends necklaces?  One would get Be Fri and the other would get St. Ends?  Yea . . . good ol' 80's.  I hear they still make 'em.  (I always wanted Be Fri . . . no one wanted St. Ends, duh.)

I've had very few Beefries in my life.  

Now, more than ever, my Beefries are my rocks.  The ones I grew up with, we have SO much history and distance but we can always pick back up for a bump of support.  The one that I also grew up with only it was a much more important "growing up" in college.  She and I will have a bond that no one will ever break, even through the tough times (and there have been a few.)  She is my one "chosen sister."  She paved the path of pregnancy and children for me and I will always look to her for advice first.  Then there is my best friend forged from a business . . . alpacas to be exact.  Her gregarious attitude, laugh and humor bring out the same in myself and together we cuss a lot and are loud and it is awesome.  Her "make it work" attitude has taught me some great lessons and one of these days one of her plans will really work and she will be all set.  My one guy best friend, who also now has kids (how do these things happen?  This growing up thing is strange . . . weren't we just 17 and having our first conversation on the phone, my hand shaking because I was talking to a guy I thought was completely out of my league?)  He has twin boys . . . I wish him and his wife luck all the time.  And then sisters . . . Well, they know I love'em to pieces but it wasn't always so.  Amazing what time and maturity can do with sibling relationships. 

I have Beefries in the making, sprinkled here and there.  People met at school, work, online or just happenstance.  All of these people, labels applied or not, are very important to me.

They keep me sane.  They are my rocks.  All of the pebbles that keep me from sinking into the path when it is muddy and then a few larger ones that let me sit and rest with them for a while and then the really big ones that I can either lean against or climb up on and we can see more clearly from up top, our heads above the clouds.

There have been times in my life where I self isolate.  It is a selfish act.  And also one that is incredibly hard to do when you have children.  My children force me outside and to be social when all I want to do is curl up in a ball with some tea and a book.  But you know what?  It is a GOOD thing.  I am better when I'm social.  Sure some people are irritating as hell and the social dance can be excruciating at times but I know I'm a better person when I'm out and about.

I know sometimes I talk too fast or dominate conversations when I've had a week of mostly conversing with a baby and a toddler (sorry to those applicable.)  I know sometimes I interrupt (I'm trying to stop that!) and sometimes I get distracted.  Every social interaction pushes me further from that dark place where we lose sight of reality.  We have nothing to COMPARE our actions against.  Is this normal?  Abnormal?  Are my children going feral or are they lil' Einsteins?  Pssshhhh.  As if you had to really answer that one!  Ha.  As much as I love talking with Ethan, he sees me as Mom, not Jennifer.  It is nice to be Jennifer sometimes.

So I wanted to thank all of my Beefries.  It is a damned tough job keeping me sane but you guys have kept me going thus far. 


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