From Mainiacs to Vermonsters: Unbelievable

Why is it so unbelievable that Toby is turning 1 year old?

My mind sort of skips around like a malfunctioning robot . . . this . . . does NOT . . . compute *beeboop beep* Ugh.

I know that this happens, this growing up thing. Ethan did it as well. But I KNEW I'd be having another baby after Ethan . . . and I DON'T want another baby after Toby. BUT. But . . . but . . . MY BABY IS GROWING UP :( *commence big pout and lots of stomps of disapproval*

Planning for his party, which is really just a get together with a few friends and family, thinking about how he is growing out of all his 18-24 month clothes and really some 24 month ones as well as long as I'm being honest. Thinking about how he is THISCLOSE to walking but very thankful he is very far from weaning. How he calls out MOMMA when he is very upset but how he says dad all the time. How he mimics words like, "Hot" and "Blueberry" with surprising clarity. Thinking about how he is going to continue to morph into this toddler being and how he is not allowed to be 3 years old. Not sure I can survive a round 2 of 3 years old and I'm only halfway through round 1! Ack! Thinking about him as an adult . . . what he will look like, who he will marry, will I have grandkids? Will he like school or hate it, will he continue to be social and feisty? Will he and his brother be close and help one another out? See what this birthday crap does to me!!!!

Toby's birth was not what I wanted. I was angry that he was breech and I would have to have a c-section. I cried myself to sleep way too many nights over it (fueled, no doubt by raging pregnancy hormones.) But, in the end, the important part was that he arrive safely. I also had in incredibly supportive, very experienced and skilled OB that was my lighthouse amidst the storm. If it weren't for her and my mother-in-law who helped immensely with Ethan I would not have come through it as well.

But out he came. Not as I had planned, but here nonetheless and the joy at meeting my precious boy completely eclipsed my anger over the c-section. I knew it would though, in fact, when the nurses were trying to support and talk to me before hand I jokingly said, "Let's just get the show on the road, I just want to hold my baby and never have to worry about this c-section crap again." That might be verbatim, regardless you get the gist.

Such a special lil' Moose Muffin. Happy First Birthday precious baby boy.