Thursday, May 30, 2013

Night time reflection . . .

As I bask in the quiet, my blood pressure drops slowly and the weight of the day presses down upon my shoulders.

One of those days where the highs were so high and the lows were very low.  Precious children that in one moment can enchant you and in the next make you want to walk out the door. 

I know one day I will miss not being able to complete a sentence, have a phone conversation, use the bathroom by myself, leave the room without a, "MoooOOooom!" calling me to pick up a piece of dropped fuzz or other banal task.  I know one day I'll miss that Ethan wants to be THISCLOSE to me at all times.  I will miss the fact that Toby begs to eat whatever I'm eating or drinking.  But today I had a hard time appreciating all the "littleness" of things.  When your 3 year old finally digs into that secret bag of fun stuff for Grammie's camp and opens something you've told him for 4 straight days not to open but waits until you are upstairs trying to put an overtired 11 month old down for a nap . . . you lose your patience big time, I promise. 

Children are so resilient, but their little rubber bands will lose elasticity after a while.

I think, for me, it is feeling like I never get a break.  (break out the violin) After I put the kids down and I'm fighting sleep, KNOWING that I still have to clean the kitchen, fold that last load of laundry and take a shower . . . that is not a break folks.  Oh you may say, that is what you get for having kids!  Okay, you can go over THERE and not read my blog anymore *shoo shoo*  I don't regret having my boys.  I love being their mother.  It is just some days I really, really, REALLY want to be Jennifer too.  I miss her. 

So . . . now for something completely different and exponentially more awesome than me whining.

LOVES:
I love how Toby plays "drop the bunny" when I come to fetch him after a nap.  He waits, bunny in hand, until I open the door then he throws it dramatically to the ground.  Like, "I'm done with this!  Boom *drops bunny*."   As silly mommies do, I turn it into a game and any fussiness soon melts away.  I love the faces he makes when he is eating.  He is so animated.  I love how enthralled he is with Ethan and how much of a daddy's boy he can be.  I love how he still needs me for milk and that is something only we can share.  I love his little feet.  Soon enough they will turn into stinky toddler feet but right now they are precious beyond words.  I love his hair.  No picture will ever do his hair justice.  Today it was humid and the CURLS OH THE CURLS!  It was glorious.  My precious baby Toby . . . one month away from a year.  *sniffs*



I love how Ethan tells the most amazing stories.  He also explains normal things to me as well but in an amazing way.  I also love (secretly) how he mimics some things I say.  Like when he is trying to express a preference and he says, "See, the thing is, that I want to watch a movie down here!"  Totally came from me.  And I heard him say the other day to Toby that he didn't appreciate Toby taking his toy.  Totally came from me.  Any big noisy exasperated sigh.  Totally came from me.  I love how Ethan loves to play outside.  He grabs his fishing pole to practice his casting into the grass and hunts for snakes and bugs.  He has his bucket and magnifying glass and he just goes.  I lose sight of him every 5 - 10 minutes and have to call him back into my sight but he is just so content outside.  I love how he likes to hang out with Wilhemina (dog) and tell her stories.  I have a video of one of their "conversations" but you will have to do with a picture :)


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