From Mainiacs to Vermonsters: Do worms have hearts?

The questions a 3 year old asks when dealing with loss. (Answer is: Yes, they actually have five hearts.)

My father-in-law passed away on 7/27. It was a sudden affair and it left the family reeling. Ethan didn't have a very close relationship with him, but he did know him. Ethan is; however, very close with Grammie and his aunties and uncle. Ethan's go-to response when presented with a situation where adults are distracted or not paying attention to him is to present you with the full on "Ethan Show."

In an attempt to thwart this response, I began preparing him for the funeral and visitation with family the best way I knew how. With honesty and information.

I explained in plain terms that his grandfather had died, his heart had stopped and he was gone forever. This led to the aforementioned question about worm hearts. Which then led to questions about dog hearts, cat hearts, whale hearts, oh you get the picture. Also, not sure that was the point but all questions are "good" questions (usually.) I tried to prepare him for the sadness, the crying and the possible short tempers. I bought him two books thanks to some recommendations from moms (The Invisible String and Sad Isn't Bad.) We talked about it often. I made it a priority to repeat myself, to drive home the fact that this was a sad time, but that sad wasn't bad. That people were sad for a reason (especially daddy) and it was okay to be sad for a little while. This went on for several days.

But in the end, what can a 3 1/2 year old process? Well, he technically can process it all, but it is the making sense of such a complex emotion that they falter. It was okay though. Ethan, in all his story telling goofy glory made it his goal to cheer people up. He had his moments, but he handled himself incredibly well during the funeral. I'm proud of my little man.

Rest in Peace Grampa Jeffrey

10/16/53 - 07/27/13

And now for something a bit lighter.

We finally made it to "The Farm" in Calais, Maine. We had been planning a trip for the fall but in that bittersweet manner that a death brings family together, this trip was "special." All the grown up children were there as well as the littles (and one teenager.)

Ethan was over the moon to play with everyone, exploring and as busy as a 3 1/2 year old can be. Catching frogs at the pond house was a highlight. I also caught him telling all of the bumble bees in Grammie's garden, "I love you." I am so proud that he is such a nature lover. We also got to go out to Pokey aka Pocomoonshine Lake Lodges. A place that was up and running when I first met Matt but now is more of a family retreat. So many fond memories. Ethan got to do a bit of fishing but we didn't spend much time there. Only enough time for some good byes. There is always next time.