Warp Speed

My little baby boy has just engaged warp speed.

Running and spinning in circles and standing on his head.  I saw him jump the other day.  Straight up and then landed perfectly.  WHAAAAAAA?!  He loves to be swung around and being flipped over and over . . .  a lil' thrill seeker for sure.

He is talking constantly.  More and more recognizable words and more mimicking.  Blowing kisses and saying Dadd-EEEE so clearly it breaks your heart.

I think the difference in my mommy perception of these events is that the first time around I was so excited for Ethan's milestones.  They were all his "firsts."  I cheered them on and watched in awe as he became a little person.  Toby is my "last."  While these are still his "firsts" they are also starkly my "lasts."  I love just having two boys.  It is perfect.  But it doesn't make it less sad to watch him grow so quickly.

Maybe some of Toby's rush is to catch up to Ethan.  Maybe having that big brudder to emulate will mean he will always want to be warp speed.  Or maybe Toby will forge his own path.  Who knows.  But I know with Ethan he did things in his own time with no sibling to "catch up to" so maybe he was a bit more leisurely in some aspects.  I'd be lying if I said I didn't want Toby to potty train in "warp speed!" 

It is daunting to think of Toby as being over one year old.  It means he is that much closer to the 2's and 3's that have been so challenging for (and with) Ethan.  A crash course in the social dance, it can't be easy on them.

Also, I think, as a parent we sometimes feel like we are always playing a game of "catch up."  I think it is human nature to get comfortable with whatever "routine" or semi-consistent act, whether behavioral or physical, that is taking place in your home.  I learned very quickly with Ethan not to get too comfortable with "what he liked" because it is his JOB to grow, learn and experience more.  It is his JOB to change his mind as he stocks up on experiences.  Yet, somehow, with two kids, you crave consistency even MORE and so when they switch it up you are doubly off guard.  Or maybe it is just me.  I never claimed to not be somewhat of a control freak.

Regardless, I am happy/sad/joyous/scared that Toby is hitting warp speed.  It is amazing to watch.  I had forgotten the awe.  I'm so glad that I have a partner that I can share it with, that gets the heart clenches and involuntary tears just like I do as we watch our littlest grow up.