Contradictions

You've heard them all before if you are a mom.  The whole, "why worry about cleaning when you have a baby/toddler to take care of!"  "That is SO much more important!"  "It is the most important job you will ever have!  Laundry can wait!"  "Don't put so much pressure on yourself!"  "When your children are all grown up you won't remember the dishes you didn't do you will remember the time you spent with your children!"

And yet, there is still a very real expectation that your house be clean.  That the laundry be done and all the toilets scrubbed.  Only a very select few treasured friends and family members will turn a blind eye to your piles of "whatever" strewn about.  Even your spouse will let irritation bleed through at times.  Family members will make comments to other family members and little birds will peep what they say in your ear.  Pesky, lil birdies.

Now, I didn't have my boys super close together.  They are 2 1/2 years apart so I can't claim that their closeness in age has kept me from keeping my house spotless.  Heck, I know moms who have kids that are 18 months apart that have spic n' span houses.  I also know moms that work full time with two kids and have super clean houses.  Goodness knows how they pull it off.

Here:  This is what it is like in my house:

 

Now add people wearing shoes in my house, the occasional dog (who sheds horrendously) and 3 cats.  It is a losing battle people.  I started counting how many times I sweep my floor.  It averages around 4 times a day.  On my "off days" I only sweep twice . . . on my OMGHAIR days I sweep more. 

It is hard to take pride in something that is so easily undone.  I absolutely frickin' LOVE to go to bed with a clean kitchen.  It is like waking up to Christmas in the morning.  But lately the sounds of me cleaning my kitchen are threatening to wake up the kids.  Our house has some amazingly (bad) acoustics.  Also, have you ever tried to wash a pot in a sink while NOT making noise.  You make MORE noise.  More noise than one person should ever make . . . and you cringe the whole time. 

One trick that definitely helps is having people over to my house.  I invite my neighbor over because I love her company and she is an awesome woman, but I also invite her over because she makes me tidy up.  She is allergic to cats so everything gets an extra sweep and vacuum. 

Another trick is music.  I can clean my kitchen in less than 30 minutes if I have some good rockin' tunes.  I'm not by nature a music person but my sister reminded me about the power of music and damn she was right.  If only Pandora didn't have car ads.  They make me stabby.

Why am I writing all of this?  Because tonight on one of the MommyBlogThingies I read it asked what we miss the most about our pre-children days. 

And barring the standard SLEEEPOMGSLEEEP, for me it was "Finishing something from start to finish."  Hands frickin' down. 

If I could just get ONE thing accomplished from start to finish I swear I would faint from joy.  I understand that with time this will change.  The boys will get older.  Chores will happen (oh yea baby.)  But the problem is right now.  My identity is all sorts of tied up in my house and what it looks like and how many nights I cook dinner.  Please know that all of this pressure comes directly from ME and no one else (lest you get hackles up about Hubby.)  So, NOW more than any time I would love to finish unpacking, to organize . . . something(!) and keep my house ready for guests at all times.  Life happens, I get it, I totally do.  But I will take driving 30 min to a play date in a clean house any day over inviting someone over and worrying that their kid will open the door to the Room of Doom or did one of the cats leave hair on the downstairs couch.  I know that my life will continue to change, and one day when my kids are older and I'm working again, this pressure will lessen. 

But I'm trapped in a mess of my own making . . . I also created (willingly) two more mess makers.  I know that despite the "words" that people say, if they came over to my house they would be thinking "Good grief, does this girl ever put things away?  Why is there a random kid's sock on the floor?  Is that a sippy cup under the table?  Why is there a pile of laundry in the shower in the bathroom?"  They might not say it . . . but they will wonder. 

I have all sorts of tricks up my sleeve to stay organized.  Paper To-Do lists, magnetized To-Do lists,  computer To-Do lists, chart To-Do lists.  I guess I just have to remind myself that life, itself, is messy.  My house isn't spic n' span because I don't spend all day cleaning.  I take my boys to fun events or I might lay in the floor with Toby for two hours playing and watching Pocoyo and using Baxter Rufus as a pillow.  I guess, in a subconscious way, my mind is PRIORITIZING my children over cleaning.  Which is all fine and good.  But then I need an extra 10 hours in the day please!